World Outside

9/11

2009-03-23T23:44:00.006-04:00

Last Friday, I found out that the company where I used to work in New York had just gone through a second round of layoffs. This time, a former immediate colleague of mine was given the boot. We used to keep in touch constantly right after I left especially during the December CFA days, which we both failed.

During lunch break, sometime last year, we talked about 9/11 and I was surprised to discover a previous work experience of his. He had stints at smaller hedge funds before joining our former company including one at had an office on the 80-something floor of one of the World Trade Center towers. He told me the story how he was slightly late for work on that fateful Tuesday morning. Had he came in earlier, he said he could have been stuck inside the elevator when the airplane struck. He became a witness to a tragedy that included desperate office workers who chose death by jumping off from the buildings instead of death by fire. He was reluctant to talk more about it although I was pressing for details.

Here are some photographs of the WTC site which I had taken from the PATH train station situated right inside Ground Zero. The photos within these photos are lined against the wall of the station. The site continues to evolve. When I was there in December 2003, you could still tell that it was a site of collapsed buildings once. In May 2007, it looked like any other construction site.

I wish JY well in these tough times. Hopefully he'll secure a job somewhere else soon.

Life on the Beach

2009-03-19T07:10:00.004-04:00

Was I inspired by Alex Garland's The Beach to leave city-dwelling life? Not exactly.

Here are some of the things that have kept me occupied in life post-New York.

Getting into grad school - admission and now, finding the funding.

Reading.

And unexpectedly, lots of SMS! =)

Marriage

2009-03-19T04:47:00.007-04:00

I was visiting my maternal grandparents at the beginning of the month. A friend of my dad's passed away several days before and he left behind a young wife and three children. The eldest being only 10. We were talking about how young his kids are and how they would miss their father. In the midst of the rather sad conversation, my grandmother suddenly quipped "That's why you have to find a wife and get married soon!!". She sounded pretty serious too. To some of you, this may not be amusing but it is to me and my immediate family. My parents never brought up the topic of marriage. My mom was there. She could not help herself but giggled especially on how the topic of conversation swayed. Lost for words, all I could say "Tell that to Apai Amin first".

Apai Amin is the affectionate nickname of my youngest uncle and my grandmother's only unmarried child. About a year ago, he quite confidently told us that he has plans to join the priesthood but now the plan is off. There are rumors going around that he is pretty steady with a girl.

I don't usually put much thought into the topic of marriage and had little urgency to do so. But after looking at the picture of the three little children standing over the father's coffin on that weekend's BorneoPost, I come to realize that there should be a cutoff age for marriage - age x or never! Men's health gets shaky from the mid 50s onwards and you would want to spend some time knowing your children before you leave this world.

Old Bible

2009-03-17T22:42:00.001-04:00

I picked up the second hand bible from a used books store in Cleveland during a visit in Spring 2006. It was probably a gift from a mother to her child upon receiving one of the sacraments in 1959.

Personality Test

2009-03-06T21:14:00.007-05:00

We approach personality tests with some kinds of expectations, don't we? A little bit cheesy but I like the questions which looks unrelated.

Thanks to Ms. Godsister for putting up her results.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

State of the Body

2009-03-05T21:32:00.004-05:00

I had a blood test at Gribbles last week after 5 years of not having one. Cholesterol and sugar levels are on the high side. Received a terrible scolding from my mom. "Do you understand what it means to have high cholesterol?!" I blame it on reckless lifestyle I had in terms on what I ate. Huge portions and corn syrup in almost every sweet food. KFC and McDonald's were just across the street from the apartment where I lived. There was also this hispanic take out that serves the best roasted pork leg on yellow rice.

Hopefully the current Lenten diet will bring the numbers down.

I took some sort of a urea test together with the blood test for which I had to pee into a little cup with my name on it. The lab technician simply instructed me to do so in the dingy toilet at the back on the lab.

Perhaps it wasn't a drug test but still I was expecting a little more strictness. Before I joined my former exployer for full time, I had to take a drug test just like any new hire. The technician who administered me was a stern-looking African American lady. The toilet was right in the middle of the lab. It was specifically built for collection of urine samples and not for the staff or visitors to take a dump in. She warned me not to wash my hands or flush the toilet before giving her my warm little cup of beer-colored pee. She even turned off the water supply to the toilet.

Actually, I was quite anxious to get the results. Hehe.

Small World

2009-03-05T11:03:00.003-05:00

I was up surfing the net last night when SY whom I got to know in New York IMed me asking whether my father is a lawyer of this and this name from this and this part of Malaysia. Yes, that's my father, I said. Conversation ended prematurely there as she had to leave for somewhere.

So I asked dad for details and yes, he does know this and this lady who, with another fellow air stewardess, was dating his friends when they were bachelors in the roaring 70s. In fact, dad claims that both him and SY's mom had gone out on several dates but those dances and dinners never evolved into a relationship. Dad was constantly out of town for work and was already dating another girl. She later became an item with dad's good friend who had just passed away recently. Her fellow air stewardess friend went out with another of dad's friend too.

We always claim how small the world is. I'd say there are several levels on which such social phenomenon happens. The more common one is that we know of a friend who knows a mutual/common friend. Not too much hype here as the odds of people of similar age and similar educational background to know another's friend is pretty high. The more amazing one is how you get to befriend someone who is the child of your parent's long lost friend.

Lost Photos

2009-02-27T16:11:00.003-05:00

I had a laptop for four years which broke down within a few months after graduation. The only part that I could salvage was its hard drive.

All along I thought had that I have an extensive collection of photos in this hard drive. So I bought a casing yesterday to cloth this little piece of device. I am particularly interested in the pre-uni photos taken mainly by my first digital camera. D reminded me of the Bundu Tuhan photos when we met last week.

But the photos aren't there. The disk is only littered with programming assignments and assignments of first year students I tutored. I might have burned them into CDs but could have thrown them away. Now, I am left checking every pile of CDs in the house in the hope of bringing back some sweet, old memories.

HSS

2009-02-24T10:27:00.004-05:00

It was a splendid weekend. I was the driver for the female members of the family for a weekend trip to Miri. Naughty sister had to be returned to her rightful place in Curtin Miri while mom was attending a women-only church conference centered on the development of holiness. The men's version will follow suit in about two weeks. Dad decided to hear Anwar Ibrahim speak so he stayed back.

I must admit it was a date regardless whatever the situation. In my opinion, it was one because:
- the meeting was only between a guy and a girl
- the guy was a nerve wreck throughout the day
- the guy spent the morning at a car wash (the female equivalent is to spent the day at a spa or a hair saloon, no?)

I like how we got lost trying to find our way to the Miri-Lutong highway. I love the way she warns me not to knock down the mat motor who was trying to merge into my lane. The music at the stone-bowl restaurant where we ate were of the late 1990s and early 2000s (i.e. music that dominated the airwaves of our secondary school days). There was no John Mayer, Kanye West or Justin Timberlake but hits from MLTR, N Sync, Boyzone and BSB.

Glad to know all is not lost.

Steelers Did It Again

2009-02-02T20:18:00.004-05:00

Photo by NY Times

With this win, the Steelers is the best team in NFL history. Six Superbowl titles in 7 appearances. Last night's last two minutes is epic with the lead changing hands twice.

How did I become a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers? Four years at CMU in Pittsburgh. Anyone who had spent time in Pittsburgh, even as a foreign student, would in one way or another be a Steelers fan. Steelers Nation is not bounded within the city of Pittsburgh but across America and throughout the world. The fans travel well too.

I argued with my dad who does not think American Football is not a real sport with all the technicalities and safety gear. He prefers rugby.

In its defence:

- AF is very much about team work. There is little opportunity to show off one's skill unlike dribbling in soccer.
- Like other American sports such as basketball, baseball and hockey, American football is filled with technicalities. The commentaries are heavy with statistics.
- AF players do not live the celebrity lives of the soccer players in Europe. There is no TV show on AF players' wives.

I was in my junior year when we won the Superbowl in 2006. I remembered as soon as the game ended everybody poured into the streets which in turn developed into what I call mini-riots in different parts of the city. I am sure last night was similar, if not worse.

LSE

2009-01-20T11:43:00.001-05:00

Just got an offer to do an MSc. in Operational Research (a.k.a. management science with concentration on applied maths) at the London School of Economics.

Stay tuned.

Children Books to Donate

2009-01-07T10:53:00.004-05:00

My family minus my brother are in major spring cleaning mode right now. Tonnes of belongings have to be moved temporarily to allow some kind of experimental, partial DIY renovation to be performed on the house. Yes, we are extending the height of the house by 200 ft by building a minaret.

There are painfully so many things to move - from books to glasswares that were my parents wedding gifts 25 years ago. Among the books is this little paperback titled "Your Child and Sex". Not sure which of my parents bought it and had the balls to shelve it among Enid Blyton's books.

Anyway, there are tonnes of children books including an encylopedia set that I want to get rid of. Thinking of donating them to some primary school libraries. I wonder if you had done this before. I would appreciate any sharing of experiences.

-C

Reset

2009-01-04T10:33:00.002-05:00

I am back home and I felt like I had just pressed a reset button. The past 5 years passed like a flash. I do enjoy it here currently with the little stress. Alternatively, I could have been in NY worrying whether the software release that I made would generate phone calls from London and India in the wee hours.

Attended mass on New Year's Eve. I felt like I had just left secondary school yesterday with the memories suddenly as vivid as last night's dream.

Layoffs

2008-11-20T23:26:00.005-05:00

We received an internal memo informing that layoffs will be carried out this week. The firm has a solid reputation on the street but nevertheless, this is an entire economy on a downturn - not a particular company not a sector. I am blessed to not be affected but the experience was a first and very surreal for me. I no longer see colleagues' names that were there on the company's directory last week. I saw empty desks as I walked around the floor. Teams were called to conference rooms and briefed by their MDs.

Wall Street layoff/firing typically goes like this:

- HR calls you to a conference room
- They tell you that you have to be let go and the severance pay that you'll get
- You can't get back to your desk. Not even to pick your jacket or personal belongings.

Moving on

2008-11-06T18:06:00.001-05:00

I've done arguably the boldest thing in my life today.

Vacation Ideas

2008-10-25T01:43:00.002-04:00

Not sure what to do during my one-week off before Christmas. Several ideas in this belt-tightening period of a recession

5-night cruise in the Caribbean
- very cliche but can be economical and relaxing
- need someone to go with though

Solo road trip from Las Vegas to San Francisco
- My best holidays so far are road trips
- Can be pricey with car rental and Gas

Montreal
- 1.5 hours from NY but flight can be expensive
- Amex has a flight + hotel deal for $1200

2008-09-27T21:37:00.000-04:00

Brother left for the UK after spending a month in NYC with me. Feel sad.

Newcomers Adjust, Eventually, to New York (NYTimes)

2008-08-27T00:47:00.000-04:00

I find some truth in this article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/27/nyregion/27arrival.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

Look Who's in Town

2008-08-27T00:08:00.004-04:00

Two Sundays ago, I came to me that my brother's rent in Aber for the next five weeks of doing nothing would cost more than a return flight to New York. So I bought him a ticket to fly in on this past Sunday.

Ramen

2008-08-17T23:15:00.003-04:00

I used not to like noodle in soup until I came to New York and tried the ramen in the Ramen bars around Manhattan.

This one picture above is from Minca Ramen Factory in the East Village.

I'd rank the following two as the best Ramen places in the city.

1. Ramen Setagaya
2. Minca

Will you let me be your servant?

2008-07-24T21:25:00.002-04:00

I was browsing youtube for WYD 2008 videos and stumble a very nice song that they had for the event.

Will you let me be your servant, let me be as Christ to you?
Pray that I might have the grace to let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey, we are trav’lers on the road.
We are here to help each other walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you in the night time of your fear.
I will hold my hand out to you, speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping, when you laugh I'll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow till we've seen this journey through.

When we sing to god in heaven, we shall find such harmony,
born of all we've known together of Christ's love and agony.

Will you let me be your servant, let me be as Christ to you?
Pray that I might have the grace to let you be my servant, too.

Piano

2008-07-21T01:09:00.004-04:00

I bought an electric piano last Saturday. An impulsive purchase after feeling satisfied that some work tasks were completed on a weekend. I spent nearly 2 hours at Sam Ash trying out the different sub-$1000 models. If I had a budget, it would not have been more than $800. Thankfully, making a decision was easy as the more expensive ones were meant for studio work with much more complicated functionalities. I don't want to add more complexities to my life. There's already enough from what I do for a living.

The piano is Yamaha P-85 with heavy weight keys. Minimal functionalities as my concern was more on the sound and the weighted keys. It cost $599 but after taxes and the stand, the damage almost reached $700. A friend was around which helped as the piano did not fit the cab. We actually hauled the piano and the stand on two subway rides and endured many stares to the life-size box that I was carrying.

This is one personal item that my parents, especially my dad, would encourage me to buy. I have not played for nearly a year and my fingers have been rusty (only for this purpose *wink). Part of the inspiration to pick up the piano again is the music at the evening masses at a Franciscan church that I regularly attend. The hymns are written by composers of contemporary Catholic hymns such as Marty Haugen, Paul Tate and David Haas. Now you know, you don't have to rely on Hill Songs or Don Moen for modern Christian songs anymore.

Suicide

2008-07-21T00:56:00.003-04:00

About two Saturdays ago, I was at my colleague's birthday part in the UES, the upscale neighborhood currently being made famous by Gossip Girl. That morning, colleague woke up by the police on his door. There was a body lying right outside his bedroom window. Some doctor jumped to his death from the 27th floor of the apartment building and fell on the scaffolding right next to colleague's bedroom. Rumors said the doctor was upset by a recent break up with his partner.

It was the second suicide in Manhattan within a week. The previous weekend, a Russian model jumped from a 9th floor condo near Wall St.

Anti-Aging Treatment

2008-07-04T15:20:00.002-04:00

I have been watching Season 5 of Nip/Tuck over the past week through hulu.com and got curious about all kinds of treatments that one can have to look better and younger. The second episode of the 30 Days is on anti-aging where this 34-year-old father of three decided to undertake an anti-aging treatment through a combination of hormone injection and heavy dosage of a variety of supplements.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/5295/30-days-anti-aging#x-0,vepisode,1

Very interesting. Should watch if you have access to this web site from your respective countries.

A friend's last weekend in the USA

2008-06-28T23:25:00.000-04:00

A friend of ours is returning home to Malaysia this Tuesday and the weekend was for her. We decided to step out of Manhattan and spend the Saturday in Flushing, an area in Queens which is mainly populated by Chinese people. Just like Stella and her yuppy expat friends in Hong Kong, the New Yorkers are also always in pursuit of good food.

Dim Sum in Flushing. The was variety but lack the quality compared to Jin Foong.

Cheap daytime Karaoke. $15 for 3pm - 8pm.

New IKEA in Brooklyn

2008-06-21T23:40:00.000-04:00

The new Ikea store opened in Brooklyn last Wednesday with very much anticipation from New Yorkers. I had to look for the bolts for my bed which were lost during the move. Ikea has a FREE water taxi service that ferries shoppers from Wall Street to its water front store in Brooklyn. This is the smartest way to view downtown manhattan and the Statue of Liberty. Come during the late afternoon and return during sunset.

Another thing we all like about Ikea is its fancy yet cheap food.

Salmon salad $4.99

Swedish meatballs $4.99

Swedish Dessert Sampler $1.49

So naturally, I overate.

Photo Albums from May Vacation

2008-06-20T23:49:00.001-04:00

May Vacation 2008

iPhone Photos from May 2008 Vacation

New Apartment

2008-06-19T00:30:00.000-04:00

I took these photos right after getting the keys to our new Stuyesant Town apartment. Since it's in quite a mess right now, I'd like to share how it was like when the place was still immaculate.

Chikalicious

2008-06-15T20:00:00.003-04:00

I have been waiting for a long time to visit this famous dessert bar located 4 blocks down where I live. Chika is the Japanese pastry chef who runs the place. Perhaps her male assistant is called licious. I went there on a Sunday afternoon when it was empty. This bar has a 4-person party size limit and there's always a line at night.

The menu differs every day. For a prix fixe price of $12, you get a 3-course dessert "meal" where you get to choose the second course. The serving size is small but they were prepared elegantly in front of you by Chika herself. Add another $7 and you'll get the a glass of fortified wine selected to be paired with your main dessert.

One to note is the music being played. I asked the host for the title. It's actually a compilation of jazz pieces mainly from John Coltrane's rehearsal thus not available out there for purchase.

Such restaurants inspires one someday - a small kolok/kampua bar like ramen bars. It won't be a messy kitchen greased by lard.

Chika preparing my dessert - I have no recollection of the what the name was.

On Being Vulgar

2008-06-15T13:21:00.003-04:00

I realized that everytime my computer goes slow on me, I'll blurt out "Come on, bitch!". So you can say that a computer is a female.

Brunch at Blathazar, New York

2008-06-12T01:22:00.002-04:00

It's a French bistro located near Spring St. Food was okay but the bread basket was good. Took us a reservation made 3 weeks earlier and an hour-long wait to get tables.

Blessed be those groups of friends with more than 4 people for they will be find restaurants that will seat them easily.

SMK Bintulu Revisited

2008-06-12T00:35:00.002-04:00

My brother and I was out in town working on various errands when we decided to drop by in our old school. The last time I was back here was when I was soliciting for recommendation letters from my teachers. I don't think I have been back since the new principal took over.

It was during the school holidays so no students were in sight except for the marching band practicing. The school now has a new computer lab building located between blocks B and C. The old canteen is now the second teacher's office. The new canteen is now between the transition block and the lower secondary science labs.

Once in a while, I'll dream of being back in school wearing a school uniform and waiting for class to start even when form 5 was 7 years back. I do not miss SMK Bintulu as much as Carnegie Mellon.

College was the best time of my life. I've not been back to Pittsburgh for a year. I should do soon.

Kayan Wedding

2008-06-12T00:25:00.000-04:00

Uma Juman, Asap, Belaga

Ironically, I did not take the photos of my newly-wed cousins.

More of Hong Kong

2008-06-12T00:24:00.000-04:00

Hong Kong

2008-06-12T00:21:00.004-04:00

Stella looking at her world outside.

A very comfortable bed. The hotel brands it as the "blissful" bed.

E-mail Posting

2008-06-07T00:00:00.001-04:00

Test

--
Crispin

Vacation May 2008

2008-06-06T23:46:00.001-04:00

Where?
Hong Kong, KL, Bintulu, Sibu, Asap and Miri

Highlights?

A bottle of really good tuak slipped from my hand the night before I left for NY. The broken glasses cut a deep gash near my right toe which got me 8 stitches.
Attended a funeral (ngesah ka urang parai) where I contributed to the carving of the number 8 (for 2008) on the victim's temporary wooden cross. The last time I was back I was around for a relative's funeral as well.
Made two overnight stopovers in Hong Kong. Met up with Stella and made shirts. The awesomeness of the island got me contemplating of moving here.

Photos from my 2-week vacation.

Avoiding Stalkers

2008-06-03T09:14:00.000-04:00

Moving to http://myworldoutside.blogspot.com

Web Server is Up Again

2007-06-06T03:02:00.000-04:00

http://cbasah.homedns.org

Temporary Move

2007-04-27T02:30:00.000-04:00

Temporarily moving this blog to http://cbasah.homedns.org/ to test hosting my blog on a Gentoo Linux runnnig on VMWare. I'll see how well the performance goes especially at only 64mb of assigned virtual RAM.

Grandfather's Story

2007-04-12T16:06:00.000-04:00

In the 70s during the height communist insurgence in Sarawak, my grandfather (mother's side) was attached to RASCOM, the Rajang Area Security Command, the agency trusted in fighting the communists both militarily and politically. This was the period when Army's General Field Force were highly revered for their efforts in killing communists. It was also through this period that Iban soldiers made up a significant fraction of recipients of the two most prestigious Malaysian military awards us as the Seri Pahlawan Gagah Perkasa (SP) and the Panglima Gagah Berani (PGB) .

An effort was undertaken by the Malaysian government to move rural Ibans to new settlements closer to towns. This strategy drew similarities with the Kampung Barus in West Malaysia which were fenced-up villages to isolate communists from infiltrating the Chinese communities. Devoid of weapons, food and even corporal pleasure (women), these communists were hoped to leave the jungles and surrender. My grandfather's duty was to travel to these very remote longhouses, persuade the villages to leave and coordinate the relocation effort itself.

According to him, the persuasion part was the toughest. Areas that he covered were mainly of those in Ulu Tatau (way upriver from Tatau). So remote was the place that the only accessible way of getting there besides by flying was a 3-hour boat ride (or maybe a walk..not sure). He would spend roughly a month persuading the longhouses to resettle, explaining the government benefits they would get in the new place. He told me a story of one particular longhouse which refused to leave. The villagers were at the ruai of the headman and the meeting with my grandfather and his colleagues were very in much Q&A style. The villagers defended their decision to stay with reasons that my grandfather could hardly contest except on education.

One villager said that his people had survived for generations without education so why must they move to a more urban place just because there were schools built there. My grandfather responded them boldly, "If your great-grandchildren would one day suffer due to their lack of education, they will definitely put a curse on you, their ancestors, because you rejected the idea of giving them the education that is so crucial in today's world."

That fear of being cursed by your descendants moved the decision of the villagers. Soon after that, they were packing their belongings and even sacks of paddy harvest, onto military helicopters. My grandfather were the among the last ones to leave. An empty longhouse is a spooky sight to a native Sarawakian's imagination. Despite being a Christian himself, he improvised an adat by ordering each family to sacrifice a chicken as a sign of peace between them and the spirit of the land that they were about to abandon. In this respect, I believe local traditions sometimes must not be neglected despite how staunch believers we are of a Western religion.

Once the last family left, the longhouse was torched and burned to the ground. These Ibans are the ones living in Skuau today, an area just outside Sibu. The Ibans have been nomadic ever since their exodus from Sumatera around 400 years ago to settle in Kalimantan. Their origin from Sumatera perhaps explain the similarity between the Malay and the Iban languages. They moved into Sarawak in the 19th century and proceeded up the state by the means of tribal fightings over land especially with the Kayans. Both tribes claimed the supremacy of the Rajang river. This time they had to resettle in a new land, very much like their ancestors in the past, but were blessed to do so without having to cut the enemies' heads for which the Ibans and other Dayak tribes are famous for.

A Month to Go

2007-04-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

A month to go before I leave Carnegie Mellon. I realize that it is going to be damn hectic month to a level that I am worrying about it every 5 minutes. I am writing everything down here so that I myself can be reminded and clear view on the mess.

My Linux mini is demanding an open-source contribution at the end of the semester on top of weekly homework and a software license analysis.
The Human Computer Interaction project that I've been working on since Spring 2006 is coming to an end. I need to leave an impact on the web site and document on every little detail. In my point of view, the development have been very messy mainly because I'm using PHP which has a limit on the number of lines of code. In other words, it's not a good platform/language for a large web application project. I should have taught myself Java Servlets earlier on.
Packing up. 4 years in the same room have helped accumulate a house of personal possessions most of which need to sold, discarded or be given away. For the rest, I'll throw them into boxes and figure out a way to ship them to New York.
TWO Economics Projects. Professor have been delaying the progress of the class up to a point that we have 2 projects in a month. None of the instruction for the projects have been released yet.
Finalize a place to stay for the next 1 year in New York.
H-1B work visa blues. If I don't get it this year, there's a change I'll be spending 3 months in mid 2008 either working in an overseas office, taking an unpaid leave during that period or leave the country for good.
Parents visit. I have not figure out a travel plan for them who have not visited this country before. Uncle Edmund and family from Houston might be coming for graduation. So is my dad's cousin from Maryland.

I must accommodate all above into my currently very dormant final-semester lifestyle of watching YouTube day and night.

Photos from Miami:
http://picasaweb.google.com/winstoncyl/2007031020070318SpringBreakMiami (most photos here)
http://picasaweb.google.com/cbasah/ (I was lazy to take photos)

Miami

2007-03-18T15:04:00.000-04:00

Trip's highlights include

- over-abundance of good looking girls. models who reside in miami and sexy college chicks on spring break.
- clubs with expensive covers and drinks. I bought a Vodkda Red Bull for $16.
- stayed in a nice apartment for a week, right in the center of Miami beach in a residential area 1 block away from the main streets. it is also across Tantra, a super ex club and restaurant. monday night, we witnessed it's main night of the week with ferraris, lambos and supermodels.
- cooked everyday
- Key West, the Southern tip of the USA
- all-you-can-eat fish and shrimp in Key West
- last night, eve of St. Patrick's day, was total binge at the Irish Playwright pub
- met Rafiq in the pub!

Fooling Around With Eggs

2007-02-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

Spring 20075, originally uploaded by cbasah.

chow.com has a video on how to make poached eggs. so i followed the technique it worked but after several practice.

Orange Juice

2007-02-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I had my first orange juice in one month. That glass reminds me of the 20-hour plane ride from Singapore to New York as well as other flights where the stewardess served me orange juice. I am not sure why the primary drinks they serve is orange juice but I took them out of dehydration anyway.

I have been working for a professor in the Human Computer Interaction Institute (HCII) and two graduate students on a event web site. Current worked after a major revision of the previous design by a new bunch of graduate students is at

http://maguro.hcii.cs.cmu.edu/whisper/test_site

It's still work under construction but organization between me and the other grad student are getting smoother. HCII here at CMU is a branch of Computer Science with more prettier girls than the core CS itself. Undergraduate majors who pursue this field also include people from psychology (probable hot psychiatrists).

If finance fails me in the next few years, I must jumped into a startup bandwagon. I already have friends with very great ideas, determination and attitude for such risky endeavors.

-Crispin

State of Mind

2007-02-14T23:34:00.004-05:00

This post speaks of the state of mind on 3/16/2009.

It has been 3 months since I left New York after a grueling and meaningless one and a half years there. When friends asked me what would I be doing back home, I gave a shrug. It was an honest answer. I had nothing in mind except to rest, spare my mind from thousand-lines code and early morning phone calls and relieve my body from a reckless diet. I was not too sure whether I'd like to find a job or return to graduate school.

The past month was off the expectations on what life would be post USA. It did not occur to me that I would be reconnecting with D with this much frequency and enthusiasm. I first saw her after many years at church one Sunday morning. She was back in town for that Chinese New Year weekend. We briefly exchanged greetings when we met in the middle of the church. She looked very much as she was when we parted ways 5 years ago - as pretty as ever. As she entered her car, I asked myself why must it be now.

I got her number and we slowly exchanged messages. It's been 2 years since I last met her in KL so many details our lives had to shared. We barely kept in touch over those years. She gave me a scarf which I carelessly lost in the student union during my first winter. I sent her a postcard from a restaurant in Napa Valley and sent her two Lizz Wright CDs for her 21st birthday in Glasgow. Both of us agreed that breaking up before I headed off to college was a sensible idea in the sense that it freed us from any commitments that could be severely strained by geographic barriers. We were literally oceans and time zones apart. Night was her day and my day was her night.

We've been texting each other so regularly these days. Not as often as we had when we were little kids in secondary school but frequent enough. We would bid each other good night just before we sleep every night these days. Sometimes she'll text me midday which I receive with much joy and happiness needed to fuel my day. We regularly reminisc our days together, reminding of things that we had to said to each other and of trips that we had taken together (i.e. Asap and Bundu Tuhan). We were pretty serious each other then.

We agree on being friends for now so I contantly try my best to be as 'friendly' as possible. Over the years, I have trained myself to supress my emotions (That's why my resignation caught my former colleagues and friends by surprise!). Part of me right now really wants to tell her how much she brightened up gloomy days at home. I would like to tell her how much I miss her too despite an impetuous 2-hour drive out of town would be a healing to my desperation. I am trying my best to conceal all these despite occasional leaks that I hope were subtle.

..

Life is absolutely unfair. I have friends from college days who have been going out and stayed together until this very day.

For example, my roommate K and E have been seeing each other since that fateful thanksgiving during Sophomore year. Someday I'll share the dramatic story on they became an item. They were lab partners in almost every class they took. Once, they experimented with not being partners where K and I paired up to work on coding projects for a algorithmns class. They discussed homework answers together. When exams were around the corner, they were next to each other in the library studying effectively. Today, K and E work in the same software company in the Bay Area. Despite being in different groups, they would meet up for lunch and drive back home together to their two-room apartment.

Unfortunately, it is not the case for D and I. I wish that time stands still for us right now and there is an Easy button like the one CircuitCity has which we can conveniently press and poof!, transports us to a parallel universe where such heartbreaking inconveniences do not exist.

Spring is here

2007-02-14T12:20:00.000-05:00

9/4/2009

So I thought our time that weekend ended with drinks at the beach on the afternoon of Saturday 3/28. We happened to go out again that evening for drinks after her dinner with relatives. Suffice to say we had a splendid time in a secluded place near her house, holding each others' hands. It was a special evening indeed. We reignited what was lost after several years apart. I really miss the touch of her skin. The last time we held hands was when she was still in secondary school and I was still in Shah Alam.

That night changed the world to me. I guess for her as well. It's both surreal and nice to be back together. I quote the surreal but nice phrase from Notting Hill. This new chapter for us is more relaxed and fun-filled. I like the fact that she is happier now when I am around. We even started speaking Iban to each other and discovered that we connect at a much deeper level than before.
We often talked about superpowers that we wish to possess. She loves languages so for her, it will be that ability to learn every language in the world. For me, it has always been teleportation. I am tired of being away from her for so long even when we were together years ago.

I am trying my best to live the moment and refuse to think too much on what lies ahead for us. I will surrender to Him on deciding what is best for us. Pray that I will have the understanding and willingness to follow His will.

Tanjung Batu Beach

2007-02-14T06:23:00.000-05:00

3/28/2008

I've been waiting for this day for three weeks since our dinner at Kidurong Club and drive around the housing area in Kidurong and around town. She's back in town for the weekend. This afternoon was our 4th time hanging out together. We were supposed to meet tonight but with an invitation from her aunt and uncle for dinner at their place, I suggested tea instead of dinner/supper. I insisted that she puts family first way before me, who is only a friend. So, we settled on going to the beach for chendol, sotong kangkong and her favorite limau ais.

Coincidentally, we both wore white today. It was the first thing she commented after she entered the car. I showed her a picture of us on Christmas day 6-7 years back where we both wore blue.

I like having her around. I like looking into her eyes for short moments. I like taking quick glances of her when she's looking somewhere else. I like listening to her giggles and seeing her smile.

We chatted about our secondary school, family and old friends. We exchanged questions and answers about preferences over little things in life. When she asked me if I would prefer a house by the sea to one on the mountain, I said by the sea and she too indicates the same preference. She asked if I prefer yellow light to fluorescent light, I said yellow with the utmost confidence in my answer and again, we realized we share another preference. I, being the unusually silly at times with the intention to carry on with conversations, asked if she prefers a bathtub to a shower.

I hope I can see her again tomorrow afternoon but promise myself not to cry if we could not meet.

Copyright note: The image embedded above was not taken by me and was grabbed from lifeislikethat.com through Google Image.

Not All Is Out There

2007-02-14T03:44:00.003-05:00

3/26/2009

There is a discrepancy between what I communicate to her, through text messages and phone calls, and what I feel inside. The former being 'light' and friendly, is only the tip of the iceberg to the latter. It is a resurrection of my long suppressed affection for her.

The Game

2007-02-08T16:08:00.000-05:00

THE_GAME2, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Let me show you what arrived on my door steps on Thursday afternoon. A book I ordered on early Wednesday morning through Amazon Prime free 2-day shipping. I found the few pages I read on Amazon were very interesting.

A black, leather-bound, bible-like book called
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

Winter_20067

2007-01-29T21:03:00.000-05:00

Winter_20067, originally uploaded by cbasah.

It's damn cold now. I am not kidding. This is the first time that I really dread going outside. This past 1 year I have experienced extreme weathers. Summer in New York was blazing hot with temperatures reaching 40C. This past week the tempature have been averaging -5 to -10 C.

Winter_200625

2007-01-29T21:01:00.000-05:00

Winter_200625, originally uploaded by cbasah.

School of Arts, Carnegie Mellon

DPP_0112

2007-01-29T20:52:00.000-05:00

DPP_0112, originally uploaded by cbasah.

My great grandmother's grave

Funeral

2007-01-29T20:46:00.000-05:00

Funeral, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Mum

2007-01-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

Mum, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Grand Family as of July 2005

2007-01-29T20:42:00.000-05:00

Grand Family as of July 2005, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Taken on my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary in Sibu in July 2005.

Winter_20065

2007-01-29T20:41:00.000-05:00

Winter_20065, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Pasta

2007-01-29T20:40:00.001-05:00

Pasta, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Signals and Systems Homework

2007-01-29T20:40:00.000-05:00

Signals and Systems Homework, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Lots of math but was fun.

Brother and Sister

2007-01-29T20:39:00.000-05:00

Brother and Sister, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Dad

2007-01-29T20:38:00.000-05:00

Dad, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Sister and I on a boat in Manukan Island.

2007-01-29T20:37:00.000-05:00

Sister and I on a boat in Manukan Island., originally uploaded by cbasah.

More Photos

2007-01-29T19:53:00.000-05:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cbasah/sets/

Flickr

2007-01-23T08:06:00.000-05:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Winter Break

2007-01-17T14:33:00.001-05:00

The one-month long winter break in Malaysia was a grand tour of home. In fact, I am telling my story in sub-stories of places and people I met.

Kuching
I did not return home straight. Instead, I spent 2 nights visiting my uncle in Kuching. I was very much jetlagged but was pulled into a carolling group in Kuching because my WYD mates were there. The night I joined them was focused on the poor in Kuching. 5 families in total and mostly single mums.

Bintulu
Home is home.

Longhouse
A relative died a tragic death in mini rapids in front of my father's longhouse which sits along the Rajang river. Attended the funeral after the body was found 4 days later. It was my first visit back to the Long Mejawah longhouse in 20 years and my first time witnessing a Kayan funeral. Kayan people, as I noted, bury their dead above the ground. The Maren (ruling class) used to bury them on top of the salong, a wooden pole that is usually 10 feet tall.

Sabah
My family and I put our family's new Toyata Hilux to the test by driving it to Kota Kinabalu. Christmas was spent on Manukan Island where we (except my mum) snorkelled to watch fish in the clear sea water. Also, we feasted on fresh seafood all the time. No place in Sarawak or even W. Msia can beat the seafood in Sabah. I claim I ate more prawns than in the past 1.5 years.

Grandparents in Sibu
Through the holiday, my mother pestered me to spend a night in Sibu to visit my grandparents. I dreaded the idea of taking a 3-hour bus ride down along the boring Bintulu-Sibu road so I spent a day transitting there on my way back. To my surprise and perhaps my grandparents surprise, I spent the whole day talking to my grandfather about his experiences as a civil servant. My grandfather spent most of years in the government as a clerk. He told me the story on how they moved from little towns to little towns as he was constantly transferred. My mother told us about their time in Sundar, a very rural pekan near the mouth of the Trusan river, near Limbang. My grandfamily has a particular fondest memory on this place because they were there during the fall of Limbang. My mother's story wasn't the most elaborate as she was only a little girl below 5 when the fiasco happened. I took the opportunity in Sibu to ask my grandfather on the family's experience. I can't tell everything here but I'll more than happy to tell you the story in the bar.

Basically, my grandfather organized the few civil servants stationed in Sundar to protect the little station from the pemberontak who took limbang for nearly a week. He told me how to distributed rifles to his colleagues, some who had never fired a shot before. Wives and children grouped together in the paddy warehouse or gudang padi and fortified themselves by walling the building with bags of rice. The British Royal Marines came to protect the town not long after that. They were joined by the Gurkhas. Despite without any higher education like we do, my grandfather was able to converse in limited English and acted as a translator to the British soldiers.

During the Sarawakian communist insurgency in the early 70s (kacau laban komunis), my grandfather worked for the Rajang Area Security Command (RASCOM) which was in charge in protecting the people of the communist terrorists living in the Sarawakian jungles. My grandfather's duty, in particular, was to convince the longhouse villagers to leave their longhouses and resettled to a completely near place. Among the longhouses that he dealt with was several ones in Ulu Tatau which were later resettle to Skuau, an area off Sibu.

Our conversation was interrupted when my grandma's kitchen tap broke and flooded the kitchen. We called a plumber after I realized that I cant fix it due to the broken nut. By the time we wanted to continue our day-long chat, I had to go to the airport.

KL
I visited my brother over the weekend before I flew back to the U.S. Met Daphne and Priscilla for lunch after not seeing them for quite sometime.

SINGAPORE!!

Winter Break

2007-01-17T14:33:00.000-05:00

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

2006-12-11T16:08:00.000-05:00

I am not sure whether this survey is meant for girls. I took it because I am a movie buff myself. I watch around 4-5 movies a week. Thanks to Vongo!

Erotic Thriller

You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you.
Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you.

Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The Crush

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

2006-11-14T22:19:00.000-05:00

It has been very hectic for the past 3 days. It all began on my group's preparation of the update presentation of our electrical & computer engineering design program, the culmination of my undergraduate years at Carnegie Mellon. We're implementing a variation of the MPEG-2 encoder/decoder on a piece of Digital Signal Processor (DSP) board. I spent the entire Sunday editing a mix of spoken word (sajak) and music for my sound recording class. It can be a very addictive activity as one will never be satisfied of his creation. The DSP update was on Monday afternoon and the music demo was in the evening. A financial econons homework due Tuesday so I spent the entire night last night building CAPM and Fama-French models on Excel. The assignment required us to do everything from scratch (i.e. finding the historical stock prices).

The above is not my usual way of life this semester. I think I spend more time these days watching full webcasts of NBC series like Studio 60 and 30 Rock.

I finally close my job search with 4 offers for analyst positions, all from financial services firm in New York City. West coast giants Google and Microsoft never took my skills and abilities seriously into consideration. My employer for the past summer, Bank of America, wanted me to return to my old team at Global Markets Technology as a software developer. A final round phone interview with Citigroup Technology landed me with a second offer. I attended a Superday with Goldman Sachs Technology in New York to interview for 2 groups - Foreign Exchange Proprietry Trading front desk technology support and Risk Technology. An offer came with Risk Technology. The managers brought me out for lunch at Goldman's cafeteria, something that was outside my schedule for that day.

I was called for a Superday with HSBC investment banking, an effort that was not fruitful despite the hours put to practice for interviews. Found out that I was missing the work experience and coursework in finance although I know one or things about corporate finance. My competitors were former ibanking interns themselves. The day before HSBC's, I interviewed for the Portfolio Analytics Group (PAG) analyst position at Blackrock. Their office at 55 East 52nd St, between Park and Madison avenues, is a very sleek place. It's in the Park Avenue Plaza on the East Side of Manhattan.

Last Monday, the Monday after the two Superdays with HSBC and Blackrock, a director from Blackrock called me to extend an offer to join them. By Friday, my signed offer letter was its way to the HR department in New York. I was eyeing for the PAG position for quite sometime. I heard of it being a reputable group to work in one of the top investment management in Wall Street. Blackrock is still a small firm yet they are managing over $1.05 trillion in assets. Graduates of PAG are highly regarded as I was told. The reputation came with a price, I also heard the hours are long and demanding especially during the first year but I think I must be prepared to earn my stripes if success in a professional career is my target in the years to come. The nature of the position is semi-technical and semi-finance-based which is suits my background heavy with computer science courses, projects and courses.

I'll be flying home on Dec 15 and going to be in Bintulu for a month before flying back on Jan 16. The next 4 weeks is the last stretch of the semester. The last dash as I sometime call it.

2006-11-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

Good game. I thought we're going to lose and bid goodbye to the season.

Pumpkin Carving

2006-10-29T04:24:00.000-05:00

Daylight savings time ends.
An extra hour gained.
Carved a pumpkin.
And it is good lookin'.

OH MY GOD!!! THE BEARS HAVE WON!!!

2006-10-25T00:24:00.000-04:00

I often feed myself with a lot of sensational football plays videos on youtube. Lately, I've been having a lot of interest in watching football (NFL and College).

The best play ever is the 1982 Cal Berkley Bears vs Stanford Cardinals. I don't go to CalB or Stanford but its amazing how close this game was in the last 30 seconds. Watching this play is interestingly inspiring.

Stanford got a 20-19 lead from a field goal on the last 4 seconds. Everyone thought Stanford was going to win. Then, on the returning kick and with that very 4 seconds left, the Bears used 5 lateral passes to bring the ball through 30-40 celebrating Stanford BAND MEMBERS who were already on the field near the end zone. The magic of this play was also provided by the commentary by Joe Starky who nearly lost his voice when the TD was confirmed.

More details at Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_play

NFL Season Begins

2006-09-08T21:45:00.000-04:00

How much football is available to the American...

Thursday night, NFL
Friday night, High school football
Saturday night, NCCA
Sunday afternoon, NFL

Pittsburgh Steelers plays of the year during 2005.

Old Love

2006-09-06T08:42:00.000-04:00

A favorite song. This is a rendition by an unknown artist. Originally written by Eric Clapton and Robert Cray, there's also a cover sung by John Mayer that is also a favorite.

My House

2006-09-05T23:34:00.000-04:00

Based on the drawing and the 10 answers they gave this is a summary of their personality:

You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You are not a romantic person by nature. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You are self-confident and happy with your life.

Confidence

2006-08-25T12:24:00.000-04:00

A truly confident person, i.e. at 110%, does not convince or tell those around him that his decision is the best or better than others'. If he does, then he's only 50% confident.

NY_Summer0006

2006-08-24T00:07:00.000-04:00

NY_Summer0006
Originally uploaded by cbasah.

View of the 'construction site' of the former World Trade Center in NYC from the Path Train station. I can't believe nearly 3000 people died here 5 years ago.

Pittsburgh Summer 06 0033

2006-08-24T00:04:00.000-04:00

Pittsburgh Summer 06 0033
Originally uploaded by cbasah.

Cathedral of Learning, Pittsburgh USA

Union Square Park

2006-08-20T19:07:00.000-04:00

NY_Summer060026
Originally uploaded by cbasah.

Testing blogging from flickr.

6th blocks away from where Max and I stayed over the summer.

Photos from the Summer

2006-08-20T16:13:00.000-04:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cbasah/

2006-06-08T00:30:00.000-04:00

Just got back from an Irish bar with some friends of mine interning at an invement bank. One of them shares the same birthday with me. Was listening to them whining about how their intern class at the ibank is becoming very clicky (from the work clique) where jocks and blondes are forming an exclusive gang.

Work's been pretty good. I am working for a software development team (coders, not business analysts) who writes apps for Credit Default Swap traders on Banc of America's trading desks in New York, London and even Tokyo. I don't deal with traders (at least not yet) as the applications that we develop are huge and require full software development cycles so we have business analysts to obtain the requirements from the traders.

I finally got my workstation after 2 weeks of roaming around for unused workstations. I am working from a dual-processor P4 HP machine equipped with TWO 19" LCD monitors. The cubicle and the chair are comfortable. Starbucks coffee is available free at the pantry. I work on the 29th floor at 40 West 57th St. Not sure what's the building's name. From my cubicle, I have a view of Central Park South. The building is in a quite trendy place in midtown Manhattan. I am less than a block away from the Ding Dong Plaza Hotel, made famous in Home Alone 2, and also the Trump Tower. 5th Avenue is a block away so you'll get the famous Tiffany & Co. there as well. Lunch is expensive if you sit down and eat so usually I tapau salads and eat them at my desk. Everyone does that. American's believe in quick lunches and long hours. Indeed, there are among the most hardworking societies in the world. Malaysians have long lunches and even long coffee breaks. Socializing for Americans come from Friday-night bar drinkings and not from lunches. The only restaurant eaters are bank ppl bringing the clients out for lunches.

New York is a thrilling place to be in. The Village is my favorite place as they are less touristy and caters more for a working class and student crowd. The East Village that I favor runs from 23rd St. all the way down to Astor Place near 7th and 8th St. Amos brought us to a really old Irish pub near Astor last week after a funky Japanese dinner where I ordered a whole fried frog. Friday was drinks at this cheap jazz bar.

The jazz bar was awesome as I met Han Chun's hot Msian housemate. Well, we came there with the intention to meet up with her. I noticed this Asian girl sitting at the couch having drink with another guy. I was like checking her out and she kept looking at me. Han Chun didnt notice her for a full hour as we drank at the bar. He turned around and realized that his hmate was there all along.

Yesterday, I took the trouble to attend CNN's Anderson Cooper's book signing. Two hours of waiting was worth the wait. If you haven't heard of him yet, Anderson is the anchor of Anderson Cooper 360. He's known for his highly-acclaimed reporting on wars and disasters from his days with ABC. He reported from Bosnia, Iraq and the Tsunami areas. So, this book that he wrote, Dispatches from the Edge, chronicles partly his life especially on the death of his father and the suicide of his elder brother. I had two copies of his book signed, one for myself and another for Kenneth. He looks just like he is on TV. Most of the crowd are girls and women, making me feeling a bit gay asking for his signature but those females are there mainly because they fancy his good looks. I am fascinated by his adventures as a journalist. I am thinking to attend to other book singings if there are any, from Anthony Bourdain and Frank McCourt. I am hoping that Christiane Armanpour (CNN's London-based Chief Foreign Correspondence) would follow the same book-writing steps of Andy sometime soon. Her experience outweighs Andy's by miles ahead.

Max is coming this weekend. I am hoping to meet up with other CMU ppl this weekend too. Friday's lunch will be with other interns, a plan that we skipped last week for lack of enthusiasm.

Privacy and How Your Keponess Concerns Me

2006-06-01T23:03:00.000-04:00

Regardless how close the person is to me, even if he's family member, I expect him or her to respect my privacy when I decide to hide or not to discuss something. I just couldn't understand why some people (especially Malaysians!!) become angry when their friends refuse to share something with them.

2006-04-29T19:49:00.000-04:00

I am thinking of taking up either saxaphone or trumpet and one day play in such a band.

Trying to Improv

2006-04-28T01:19:00.000-04:00

2006-04-27T23:51:00.000-04:00

2006-04-25T02:05:00.000-04:00

Time flies extremely fast. These are the last two weeks of the Spring semester. Finals are coming up. Worse, projects are wrapping up. Presentations. Reports. I've been having very little sleep since the carnival, up till 5 a.m. almost every night working on this huge distributed systems lab. Yet, on Thursday, I took time off to drive up to Cleveland for Dim Sum. Zane and I rented a Nissan Altima with a 2.5 L engine. The ride was smooth. I was driving on the way back and 100 mph felt like 60 on a Dodge Neon. Anyway, we arrived in this dying city just in time for a heavy Dim Sun lunch. $11 including tips for dim sum that I barely can finish. Pretty cheap, eh? We met up with Brian after he finished work for some beer at this local brewery cum restaurant in the hippest part of town, West 25th St. The joke of the day came when the waitress brought us our finger food, "pub bites", which was a fried fish. $9 for 6 ounces of fish. King, Zane and I had 2 bites each. $3 for 2 bites. $1.50/bite. We might have gotten a bargain for the dim sum during lunch but we couldn't run away from being ripped off. Zane said I should do my Jesus thing - multiply the fish.

Friends have associated me with religion because I do talk a lot about Christianity but not to preach but simply as topics of laid back conversations. I do find interest a little bit of Theology but I don't find myself as that Christian hot shot wearing a Christian T-shirt 24/7 or having crucifixes around my neck. I don't listen only to Hillsong and I definitely don't have Christians as my closest circles of friends. I disagree when Christians (or with any religion as a matter of fact) get too close with each other, starting to form a tight clique or community. Eat, sleep and work with Christians when you should be a silent witness of Christ out there with your Muslim, Buddhist and Atheist brothers. This applies only to the lay people like us as I do agree and even am very well supportive of religious orders like monks and nuns because their sacrifices in giving up their lives to God.

Btw, I was getting a tour of the Penn State campus with Rafiq during Spring break. One building, called the Willard building, has a preacher from the Orthodox church preaching every afternoon. I happened to listen to him preaching about rock music in Christianity that Protestant churches are being said to be "cool" because they have Gospel pop during the service. But Christianity isn't about being a "cool" religion or being modern in accordance of current trends. All these hype and preaching about the Christian faith is able to restore your lives from your troubles is extremely misleading. Being a Christian is not about being protected by Jesus from personal, school, financial problems. It's a religion that promotes selflessness and ascetism.

Also, I have my own not-so-supportive view on the charistmatic movement within the Catholic church but I'll talk about it another day. Interesting to note that the charistmatic movement within the Catholic church originated from Dusquene University, Pittsburgh which is located 2-3 miles from where I am currently sitting right now.

2006-04-23T03:58:00.000-04:00

Alright. Party time for carnival is over. Time to focus on the finals. BofA starts exactly in a month. Waiting for the good times.

2006-04-21T09:05:00.000-04:00

American college kids really know how to party. The SALSA/ASA party last night was huge!! Abundance of hot chicks.

And I was really drunk.

Spring BBQ for Budaya (Msian Students Association)

2006-04-15T19:17:00.000-04:00

Through the lenses of my Canon 350D. Nice day with fun people around. Photos are at

http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~cbasah/S06_BBQ_Orig/

About Being Sensitive

2006-04-10T23:18:00.000-04:00

I hate being sensitive as in being overwhelmed by the fear of offending others. I think I am a sensitive person that tries to please everyone that I encounter. You guys might agree. For example, this evening, I was apologizing to my lab partner for not being able to work tonight because I can't concentrate in the clusters until he said "hey, no. don't take it personally. there are times that we just can't work and should take a break" that's what i love about americans. they are frank people and don't take things personally. awkwardly, i observe this from The West Wing, where friends and colleagues argue at the top of the voices in defending their opinions and their actions without jeopardizing their relationships. That's why at times I wish I can spend some time in a military college where I'll be drilled by the roughest of all men without taking their words at a personal level. That's why I should take up rugby as well.

I think a recipe to success is shrug off what others think of you and bulldoze your way through. Shrugging off criticisms, scoldings or comments doesn't mean keeping quiet and backstab those people who told you off in your blog but simply just let them off your mind.

This is one thing I want to be prepared for during the summer internship.

How I Tried Installing OpenAFS on Linux for the Past 2 Years and Succeeded Last Night

2006-04-09T10:41:00.001-04:00

This post serves as a post in case I forget the steps in the future and for those who are interested in installing the client for this distributed file system engineered originally at CMU.

I am using Gentoo Linux is an awesome O.S. as it is highly configurable. I took the pain of installing the system manually by command line. Even compiled the kernel manually so it will generate a sleek and thin kernel, removing unneccessary modules or built-in features that would slow booting and takes up memory. I love portage, the package management system, since every app you want to installed is compiled locally first which means you won't have conflicting binaries. It also calculates dependencies using the revolutionary USE flags.

1. Make sure in the kernel, module unloading is supported. Get this done by doing make menuconfig from /usr/src/linux. Recompile the module by make && make module_install. Copy arch/i386/boot/bzImage to the kernel image at /boot. Make sure the boot partition is mounted directly from its root at /dev/hda1. Reboot machine.

2. #emerge openafs-kernel
This will install a kernel module called openafs located /lib/modules//kernel/fs/openafs. Do not autoload this module. /etc/init.d/openafs-client loads the openafs module at boot time.

3. #emerge openafs
This will install openafs itself.

4. #emerge mit-krb5
Carnegie Mellon's AFS authenticate users by granting them Kerberos tickets. This will install a bunch of programs like klog.

5. Modify /etc/openafs/ThisCell to andrew.cmu.edu. Default client cache size is 200 MB. Kesden says, in AFS, any file that goes beyond the cache size will be dropped. Coda does it differently.

6. Reboot your machine.

7. To log on, do klog cbasah@ANDREW.CMU.EDU and enter password. Files are at /afs/.....

How I Tried Installing OpenAFS on Linux for the Past 2 Years and Succeeded Last Night

2006-04-09T10:41:00.000-04:00

This post serves as a post in case I forget the steps in the future and for those who are interested in installing the client for this distributed file system engineered originally at CMU.

I am using Gentoo Linux is an awesome O.S. as it is highly configurable. I took the pain of installing the system manually by command line. Even compiled the kernel manually so it will generate a sleek and thin kernel, removing unneccessary modules or built-in features that would slow booting and takes up memory. I love portage, the package management system, since every app you want to installed is compiled locally first which means you won't have conflicting binaries. It also calculates dependencies using the revolutionary USE flags.

1. Make sure in the kernel, module unloading is supported. Get this done by doing make menuconfig from /usr/src/linux. Recompile the module by make && make module_install. Copy arch/i386/boot/bzImage to the kernel image at /boot. Make sure the boot partition is mounted directly from its root at /dev/hda1. Reboot machine.

2. #emerge openafs-kernel
This will install a kernel module called openafs located /lib/modules//kernel/fs/openafs. Do not autoload this module. /etc/init.d/openafs-client loads the openafs module at boot time.

3. #emerge openafs
This will install openafs itself.

4. #emerge mit-krb5
Carnegie Mellon's AFS authenticate users by granting them Kerberos tickets. This will install a bunch of programs like klog.

5. Modify /etc/openafs/ThisCell to andrew.cmu.edu. Default client cache size is 200 MB. Kesden says, in AFS, any file that goes beyond the cache size will be dropped. Coda does it differently.

6. #rc-update add openafs-client default
Add openafs-client to be list of started daemons during bootime at the default run-level.

7. Reboot your machine.

8. To log on, do klog cbasah@ANDREW.CMU.EDU and enter password. Files are at /afs/.....

Enjoy.

TV Chefs

2006-04-05T16:57:00.000-04:00

Do you think TV Chefs Mario Batali, Anthony Bourdain, Emille Lagasse or the Iron Chefs are the best chefs in the world? I doubt they are. The genuine master chef does not need the media to promote himself. Perhaps iron chef competitors are but not the Iron Chefs themselves.

I just realized that some of friends here taught their moms at home my pasta recipe and they are using it at home now. Kenneth used not to like pasta cooked by his mom. After have fed with mine several times, he started eating pasta.

Signals & Systems

2006-04-03T00:44:00.001-04:00

An ECE course. So math-oriented that it's more hard core than most applied math courses from the Math department.

Looking back at this post in 2009:
Not actually a hard-core math course as compared to classes on Analysis.

It's Friday night.

2006-03-31T18:03:00.000-05:00

One particular aspect of American society that I have high regards for is the responbilities taken by manufacturers in making sure their products are safe. In comparison with Malaysia, we don't hear many news regarding recalls of cars, toys or lawyers making lawsuits against companies for negligence. I just read the news on a particular toy being recalled. Several Magnetix Building Sets are being recalled after a child died after swallowing the magnetic part of the building set that came off. I bet in a couple weeks or months, lawyers will be making legal threats to the manufacturer. It is going to cost millions if not billions, adding to the lost after the recalls etc. Some people think lawyers are sucking a hell lot of money from making this lawsuits basically enriching themselves from the grievances of others. However, we must agree to the fact that the influence these lawyers have shaped a more responsible society. Healthcare may be expensive in the States but it comes with a quality as well. My economics lecturer, young Indian chap who grew up in Singapore and had somehow worked as intern in a JB hospital, said that a bypass in the U.S. can cause the patient to be bankrupted while in Malaysia, such medical procedure would merely cost around USD 200.

Time for dinner.

2006-03-24T03:03:00.000-05:00

it's really annoying when someone comes over to your room at midnight to do homework until the wee hours. i dont mind having a quick discussion to check answers. i do want my privacy and quiet time at night.

Spring break

2006-03-20T23:12:00.000-05:00

Spring break was last week for Carnegie Mellon. It started pretty badly as Zane and I rushed through Project 2 for Distributed Systems. This time the beast was thread-based simulation of distributed systemds implementing TWO very different algorithms on mutual exlusion (ie. controlling access to a resource on a system, allowing only one processor at any time) - path compression (zane's party) and Maekawa voting district (my part). We intended to have both algos running on the same framework but as we coded, we got very far apart that we added so many features that make our implementations incompatible with each other. The report was 12 pages long. It's an interesting class, taught by a lenient professor who tells stories in almost every lecture. Zane and I are the only ones in class who have not taken O.S. but last semester's embeddedd systems did help.

I realize that on deciding on what areas that one should pursue depends on how comfortable he or she is in the core knowledge/skills need for that particular area. For example, I can't say that I want to delve into computer vision when I've not taken any courses on signals processing or matrix algebra. That was the mistake I did last Spring when I took vision without prior knowledge or understanding on discrete signals processing. This semester, Signals and Systems is listed as one of the 5 courses I am doing. Materials in Vision now made a lot of sense especially on the part in feature extraction. Btw, Computer Vision is a huge area. The course I took last Spring covered feature extraction, classification using methods like bayesian tree networks and some heat equation thing that you perform iteratively. There was also a topic on callibration of camera lenses to estimate distances.

Spring break was okay. Went on a roadtrip to visit several Shah Alam friends in State College and Boston. First was to Penn State to visit Rafiq and experience what a real american college is like. Huge campus in both the size of the student body and physical area. The newest building on campus is the business school which, in terms of design, is on par with KLIA or some fancy office building in NYC, London or Tokyo. After Boston, we left for Boston but since we left State College late, we stopped in NYC for the night. I drove directly into Manhattan. NYC traffic is no joke. The streets are narrow yet people were driving as if they are on the interstate.

The next day, we continued our journey. Stopped in Yale, New Haven for lunch. Then, we went to Newport, Rhode Island. An awesome old town which still has the English influence. The shorline is rocky and with cliffs. So, conjure up the image of a town in a classic English movie and that's Newport. Many summer mansions here built mostly in the Gilded Age, a time where a bunch of filthy rich Americans lived and pretended that they are America's royalties(probably cared less of the poor). I thought the celebrity homes in Beverly Hills were huge but the houses here are like palaces. The town also hosted previous races of the America Cup, a yatching challenge that attracted many billionaires. If there's one place on earth that I want relax, drink sangria and eat fresh seafood to my heart's content for a week, Newport is the place.

Met up with Eing and Cheng Hau in Boston. Apparently, both of them have single rooms in their MIT dorms. Eing keeps a cat in her room. A cat so smart that it shits at the right place. Wanted to go drinking at night but the bars at Newbury St were all closed. We visited this pub which unfortunately, was patronized white-collar white ppl. Felt a bit out of place. THe next day, drove back to State College because I couldn't continue the 10-hour drive to Pittsburgh. Recorded over 1900 miles in a week.

I am thinking of applying for a Canadian visa once all these work clearance with Banc of America is done. I heard Montreal and Toronto are cool places to visit. These days my objective of travelling is to eat, drink and laze. When I was in Boston, I did not bother to visit the historical sites the city is famous for. Given a week stay, maybe I could have visited them but I think I am slowly getting my dad's philosophy of travelling of not being attracted to tourist attractions. I now detest Museums or theme parks. I would prefer to visit a market in the town like the one in Frankfurt which had fresh sausages that was so tempting.

2006-02-26T17:33:00.000-05:00

Got back from Chicago last week. Pretty eventful and exciting past two days. DRW flew me in to the Windy City on Saturday for their Callback Weekend aka Superdays. Around 30 intern and fulltime candidates and each of us were put to a nice, sexy, sleek room in the W hotel. Another boutique hotel that is catching up the designer interiors etc. The hotel has an obvious theme: sex. Dimmed lighting with many candles throughout the building. The lobby looks more like a trendy club. Staff dressed in black. Lounge music played through its pipe music system. Definitely a place I would bring my significant other for a weekend of intimacy :)

DRW was very lavish with us. Had dinner in this Brazillian steakhouse called Brazzaz along Dearborn St. Awesome salad buffet and waiters would come up to you with skewers of a variety of meat. Grilled lamb, barbue chicken sausage, NY strip, fillet mignon etc. I ate a week worth of meat. Free flowof wine.

In life, you'll be curious in learning about other's culture, way of life, languages etc. Also, you'll be curious in learning various occupations that are out there. Me talking about traders doesn't mean me want to be a trader. I had a tour of DRW's electronic trading desks in the office. Each trader is surrounded by 7-8 21" LCDs. There's a radio communication from the desk to DRW's pit traders down at the Chicago Merchantile Exchange where they trade stuffs like Eurodollar futures and account for 20% of the trade volume for this particular type of security. I could hear the shouts from the pit traders over the radio. It seems unreal especially I would think this kind of environment are military-like. "Get me those March contracts at 50!!" shouted one of the traders in the office and a pit trader would shout back over the radio with a "DONE!!!".

Traders are a special breed of people. Like pilots, these ppl are supposed to be able to make very quick judgments. They are living calculators. This characteristic was obvious from the way they played poker. Even the trader assistant candidates had such qualities of quick with numbers. I lost early in a tournament later in the evening to a bunch of kids from Stanford, Berkeley and MIT and eventually volunteered to deal their cards after that. I thought I was good in the game but these kids are way much better.

Got another offer from an investment bank for IT. The IT recruiter from Credit Suisse called me up while I was enjoying my Brazillian dinner with the guys from DRW. I am requesting DRW to give me a reply by Tuesday when I will have to make a decision.

Btw, congratulations to Max for getting his long-waited offer in investment banking. Guess we'll hang out in NYC over the summer. Probably we'll room together with that Persian chick from MIT than you mentioned. 10 weeks in the Big Apple, like the lifestyle idealized in the many movies we've watched.

Wrapping up my internship search for this season. My power suit has served me well despite being dry cleaned only once for 30 interviews that spanned over 3 months. I thank God first and foremost for everything He has provided. Thanks to my family for their prayers and support. Thanks to friends like Max for helping me out with the preparation especially during the Futures in Finance event in NYC last December where I had the first round interview with BofA.

2006-02-18T23:04:00.000-05:00

The coldest day so far this winter. The weather web site registers -13 C for Pittsburgh and the "feels like" value is -18 C. 2 days ago, it was everaging 15 C. Pelik giler.

There are friends who really know how and where to eat. Brian (not Brian Tong but Brian Loo) is one of them. One of the best things about him is that he always introduce new, non-Asian restaurants to me. He once told us that "why come all the way to the U.S. to eat Malaysian food". So tonight, together with his lady company, El, and King, we went to this upscale Spanish place called La Casa (the House?) to drink Sangria and eat plates of Tapas. If you don't know, Tapas are Spanish dim sums. Appertizers or snacks served on small plates. I was not dressed as I didn't expect the place to be of such standard. Food and decor are awesome. Had this grilled squid Tapas that inspires me to create something similar someday soon. Almost every Tapas we had featured olive oil.The Sangria (wine mixed with fruit cuts) accompanied the Tapas well. Pretty pricey at $24/person after tax and tips. Still hungry but I think such an experience is not wasteful at all.

2006-02-16T22:05:00.000-05:00

And I got an e-mail from DRW Trading inviting me for a second round interview at their Chicago headquarters next week. Hotel and flight covered by them. Most probably going since it's before my BofA deadline. Position is for quantitative research. The proprietry trading firm is known for its brain teasers during interviews.

Hope can meet up with Max, Seng Seng and Alex on Feb 24/25.

2006-02-14T10:10:00.000-05:00

DRW Trading is awesome. It does only proprietry trading which means it only manages the funds of its extremely owners or partners. Crazy. The guy who interviewed me was pretty cool. He looks more like a software developer but he's in fact a quantitative researcher.

My brain teaser question is crazy but I manage to come up with the solution at the end:

- Given ten buckets. 9 buckets are filled with an infinite amount of stones weighing 1 gram each.
- The other bucket is filled with an infinite amount of stones weighing 1.1 gram each.
- Given a chemistry lab weighing machine, develop a method to identify which bucket has the 1.1 gram stones.
- Can only use the scale once. Gather all the stones you need anad press "weight" once.

Got stuck and he told me to scale it down to 3 buckets. I managed to solve it.

Then he asked me to come up with a solution for the case there could be more than one bucket with the 1.1 gram stones.

Solved it too using a sequence of base 2 numbers.

It is very cool to be rich one day and employ a bunch of geniuses to manage your money like a hedge fund do. Sounds fictional but firms like DRW do exist!