Fooling Around With Eggs

Spring 20075, originally uploaded by cbasah.

chow.com has a video on how to make poached eggs. so i followed the technique it worked but after several practice.

Orange Juice

Yesterday, I had my first orange juice in one month. That glass reminds me of the 20-hour plane ride from Singapore to New York as well as other flights where the stewardess served me orange juice. I am not sure why the primary drinks they serve is orange juice but I took them out of dehydration anyway.

I have been working for a professor in the Human Computer Interaction Institute (HCII) and two graduate students on a event web site. Current worked after a major revision of the previous design by a new bunch of graduate students is at

http://maguro.hcii.cs.cmu.edu/whisper/test_site

It's still work under construction but organization between me and the other grad student are getting smoother. HCII here at CMU is a branch of Computer Science with more prettier girls than the core CS itself. Undergraduate majors who pursue this field also include people from psychology (probable hot psychiatrists).

If finance fails me in the next few years, I must jumped into a startup bandwagon. I already have friends with very great ideas, determination and attitude for such risky endeavors.

-Crispin

State of Mind

This post speaks of the state of mind on 3/16/2009.

It has been 3 months since I left New York after a grueling and meaningless one and a half years there. When friends asked me what would I be doing back home, I gave a shrug. It was an honest answer. I had nothing in mind except to rest, spare my mind from thousand-lines code and early morning phone calls and relieve my body from a reckless diet. I was not too sure whether I'd like to find a job or return to graduate school.

The past month was off the expectations on what life would be post USA. It did not occur to me that I would be reconnecting with D with this much frequency and enthusiasm. I first saw her after many years at church one Sunday morning. She was back in town for that Chinese New Year weekend. We briefly exchanged greetings when we met in the middle of the church. She looked very much as she was when we parted ways 5 years ago - as pretty as ever. As she entered her car, I asked myself why must it be now.

I got her number and we slowly exchanged messages. It's been 2 years since I last met her in KL so many details our lives had to shared. We barely kept in touch over those years. She gave me a scarf which I carelessly lost in the student union during my first winter. I sent her a postcard from a restaurant in Napa Valley and sent her two Lizz Wright CDs for her 21st birthday in Glasgow. Both of us agreed that breaking up before I headed off to college was a sensible idea in the sense that it freed us from any commitments that could be severely strained by geographic barriers. We were literally oceans and time zones apart. Night was her day and my day was her night.

We've been texting each other so regularly these days. Not as often as we had when we were little kids in secondary school but frequent enough. We would bid each other good night just before we sleep every night these days. Sometimes she'll text me midday which I receive with much joy and happiness needed to fuel my day. We regularly reminisc our days together, reminding of things that we had to said to each other and of trips that we had taken together (i.e. Asap and Bundu Tuhan). We were pretty serious each other then.

We agree on being friends for now so I contantly try my best to be as 'friendly' as possible. Over the years, I have trained myself to supress my emotions (That's why my resignation caught my former colleagues and friends by surprise!). Part of me right now really wants to tell her how much she brightened up gloomy days at home. I would like to tell her how much I miss her too despite an impetuous 2-hour drive out of town would be a healing to my desperation. I am trying my best to conceal all these despite occasional leaks that I hope were subtle.

..

Life is absolutely unfair. I have friends from college days who have been going out and stayed together until this very day.

For example, my roommate K and E have been seeing each other since that fateful thanksgiving during Sophomore year. Someday I'll share the dramatic story on they became an item. They were lab partners in almost every class they took. Once, they experimented with not being partners where K and I paired up to work on coding projects for a algorithmns class. They discussed homework answers together. When exams were around the corner, they were next to each other in the library studying effectively. Today, K and E work in the same software company in the Bay Area. Despite being in different groups, they would meet up for lunch and drive back home together to their two-room apartment.

Unfortunately, it is not the case for D and I. I wish that time stands still for us right now and there is an Easy button like the one CircuitCity has which we can conveniently press and poof!, transports us to a parallel universe where such heartbreaking inconveniences do not exist.

Spring is here

9/4/2009

So I thought our time that weekend ended with drinks at the beach on the afternoon of Saturday 3/28. We happened to go out again that evening for drinks after her dinner with relatives. Suffice to say we had a splendid time in a secluded place near her house, holding each others' hands. It was a special evening indeed. We reignited what was lost after several years apart. I really miss the touch of her skin. The last time we held hands was when she was still in secondary school and I was still in Shah Alam.

That night changed the world to me. I guess for her as well. It's both surreal and nice to be back together. I quote the surreal but nice phrase from Notting Hill. This new chapter for us is more relaxed and fun-filled. I like the fact that she is happier now when I am around. We even started speaking Iban to each other and discovered that we connect at a much deeper level than before.
We often talked about superpowers that we wish to possess. She loves languages so for her, it will be that ability to learn every language in the world. For me, it has always been teleportation. I am tired of being away from her for so long even when we were together years ago.

I am trying my best to live the moment and refuse to think too much on what lies ahead for us. I will surrender to Him on deciding what is best for us. Pray that I will have the understanding and willingness to follow His will.

Tanjung Batu Beach

3/28/2008


I've been waiting for this day for three weeks since our dinner at Kidurong Club and drive around the housing area in Kidurong and around town. She's back in town for the weekend. This afternoon was our 4th time hanging out together. We were supposed to meet tonight but with an invitation from her aunt and uncle for dinner at their place, I suggested tea instead of dinner/supper. I insisted that she puts family first way before me, who is only a friend. So, we settled on going to the beach for chendol, sotong kangkong and her favorite limau ais.

Coincidentally, we both wore white today. It was the first thing she commented after she entered the car. I showed her a picture of us on Christmas day 6-7 years back where we both wore blue.

I like having her around. I like looking into her eyes for short moments. I like taking quick glances of her when she's looking somewhere else. I like listening to her giggles and seeing her smile.

We chatted about our secondary school, family and old friends. We exchanged questions and answers about preferences over little things in life. When she asked me if I would prefer a house by the sea to one on the mountain, I said by the sea and she too indicates the same preference. She asked if I prefer yellow light to fluorescent light, I said yellow with the utmost confidence in my answer and again, we realized we share another preference. I, being the unusually silly at times with the intention to carry on with conversations, asked if she prefers a bathtub to a shower.

I hope I can see her again tomorrow afternoon but promise myself not to cry if we could not meet.

Copyright note: The image embedded above was not taken by me and was grabbed from lifeislikethat.com through Google Image.

Not All Is Out There

3/26/2009

There is a discrepancy between what I communicate to her, through text messages and phone calls, and what I feel inside. The former being 'light' and friendly, is only the tip of the iceberg to the latter. It is a resurrection of my long suppressed affection for her.

The Game

THE_GAME2, originally uploaded by cbasah.

Let me show you what arrived on my door steps on Thursday afternoon. A book I ordered on early Wednesday morning through Amazon Prime free 2-day shipping. I found the few pages I read on Amazon were very interesting.

A black, leather-bound, bible-like book called
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.