RSS Feed (xml)Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Temporary Move
Temporarily moving this blog to http://cbasah.homedns.org/ to test hosting my blog on a Gentoo Linux runnnig on VMWare. I'll see how well the performance goes especially at only 64mb of assigned virtual RAM.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Grandfather's Story
In the 70s during the height communist insurgence in Sarawak, my grandfather (mother's side) was attached to RASCOM, the Rajang Area Security Command, the agency trusted in fighting the communists both militarily and politically. This was the period when Army's General Field Force were highly revered for their efforts in killing communists. It was also through this period that Iban soldiers made up a significant fraction of recipients of the two most prestigious Malaysian military awards us as the Seri Pahlawan Gagah Perkasa (SP) and the Panglima Gagah Berani (PGB) .
An effort was undertaken by the Malaysian government to move rural Ibans to new settlements closer to towns. This strategy drew similarities with the Kampung Barus in West Malaysia which were fenced-up villages to isolate communists from infiltrating the Chinese communities. Devoid of weapons, food and even corporal pleasure (women), these communists were hoped to leave the jungles and surrender. My grandfather's duty was to travel to these very remote longhouses, persuade the villages to leave and coordinate the relocation effort itself.
According to him, the persuasion part was the toughest. Areas that he covered were mainly of those in Ulu Tatau (way upriver from Tatau). So remote was the place that the only accessible way of getting there besides by flying was a 3-hour boat ride (or maybe a walk..not sure). He would spend roughly a month persuading the longhouses to resettle, explaining the government benefits they would get in the new place. He told me a story of one particular longhouse which refused to leave. The villagers were at the ruai of the headman and the meeting with my grandfather and his colleagues were very in much Q&A style. The villagers defended their decision to stay with reasons that my grandfather could hardly contest except on education.
One villager said that his people had survived for generations without education so why must they move to a more urban place just because there were schools built there. My grandfather responded them boldly, "If your great-grandchildren would one day suffer due to their lack of education, they will definitely put a curse on you, their ancestors, because you rejected the idea of giving them the education that is so crucial in today's world."
That fear of being cursed by your descendants moved the decision of the villagers. Soon after that, they were packing their belongings and even sacks of paddy harvest, onto military helicopters. My grandfather were the among the last ones to leave. An empty longhouse is a spooky sight to a native Sarawakian's imagination. Despite being a Christian himself, he improvised an adat by ordering each family to sacrifice a chicken as a sign of peace between them and the spirit of the land that they were about to abandon. In this respect, I believe local traditions sometimes must not be neglected despite how staunch believers we are of a Western religion.
Once the last family left, the longhouse was torched and burned to the ground. These Ibans are the ones living in Skuau today, an area just outside Sibu. The Ibans have been nomadic ever since their exodus from Sumatera around 400 years ago to settle in Kalimantan. Their origin from Sumatera perhaps explain the similarity between the Malay and the Iban languages. They moved into Sarawak in the 19th century and proceeded up the state by the means of tribal fightings over land especially with the Kayans. Both tribes claimed the supremacy of the Rajang river. This time they had to resettle in a new land, very much like their ancestors in the past, but were blessed to do so without having to cut the enemies' heads for which the Ibans and other Dayak tribes are famous for.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
A Month to Go
A month to go before I leave Carnegie Mellon. I realize that it is going to be damn hectic month to a level that I am worrying about it every 5 minutes. I am writing everything down here so that I myself can be reminded and clear view on the mess.
- My Linux mini is demanding an open-source contribution at the end of the semester on top of weekly homework and a software license analysis.
- The Human Computer Interaction project that I've been working on since Spring 2006 is coming to an end. I need to leave an impact on the web site and document on every little detail. In my point of view, the development have been very messy mainly because I'm using PHP which has a limit on the number of lines of code. In other words, it's not a good platform/language for a large web application project. I should have taught myself Java Servlets earlier on.
- Packing up. 4 years in the same room have helped accumulate a house of personal possessions most of which need to sold, discarded or be given away. For the rest, I'll throw them into boxes and figure out a way to ship them to New York.
- TWO Economics Projects. Professor have been delaying the progress of the class up to a point that we have 2 projects in a month. None of the instruction for the projects have been released yet.
- Finalize a place to stay for the next 1 year in New York.
- H-1B work visa blues. If I don't get it this year, there's a change I'll be spending 3 months in mid 2008 either working in an overseas office, taking an unpaid leave during that period or leave the country for good.
- Parents visit. I have not figure out a travel plan for them who have not visited this country before. Uncle Edmund and family from Houston might be coming for graduation. So is my dad's cousin from Maryland.
Photos from Miami:
http://picasaweb.google.com/winstoncyl/2007031020070318SpringBreakMiami (most photos here)
http://picasaweb.google.com/cbasah/ (I was lazy to take photos)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Miami
Trip's highlights include
- over-abundance of good looking girls. models who reside in miami and sexy college chicks on spring break.
- clubs with expensive covers and drinks. I bought a Vodkda Red Bull for $16.
- stayed in a nice apartment for a week, right in the center of Miami beach in a residential area 1 block away from the main streets. it is also across Tantra, a super ex club and restaurant. monday night, we witnessed it's main night of the week with ferraris, lambos and supermodels.
- cooked everyday
- Key West, the Southern tip of the USA
- all-you-can-eat fish and shrimp in Key West
- last night, eve of St. Patrick's day, was total binge at the Irish Playwright pub
- met Rafiq in the pub!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Fooling Around With Eggs
chow.com has a video on how to make poached eggs. so i followed the technique it worked but after several practice.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Orange Juice
Yesterday, I had my first orange juice in one month. That glass reminds me of the 20-hour plane ride from Singapore to New York as well as other flights where the stewardess served me orange juice. I am not sure why the primary drinks they serve is orange juice but I took them out of dehydration anyway.
I have been working for a professor in the Human Computer Interaction Institute (HCII) and two graduate students on a event web site. Current worked after a major revision of the previous design by a new bunch of graduate students is at
http://maguro.hcii.cs.cmu.edu/whisper/test_site
It's still work under construction but organization between me and the other grad student are getting smoother. HCII here at CMU is a branch of Computer Science with more prettier girls than the core CS itself. Undergraduate majors who pursue this field also include people from psychology (probable hot psychiatrists).
If finance fails me in the next few years, I must jumped into a startup bandwagon. I already have friends with very great ideas, determination and attitude for such risky endeavors.
-Crispin
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
State of Mind
This post speaks of the state of mind on 3/16/2009.
It has been 3 months since I left New York after a grueling and meaningless one and a half years there. When friends asked me what would I be doing back home, I gave a shrug. It was an honest answer. I had nothing in mind except to rest, spare my mind from thousand-lines code and early morning phone calls and relieve my body from a reckless diet. I was not too sure whether I'd like to find a job or return to graduate school.
The past month was off the expectations on what life would be post USA. It did not occur to me that I would be reconnecting with D with this much frequency and enthusiasm. I first saw her after many years at church one Sunday morning. She was back in town for that Chinese New Year weekend. We briefly exchanged greetings when we met in the middle of the church. She looked very much as she was when we parted ways 5 years ago - as pretty as ever. As she entered her car, I asked myself why must it be now.
I got her number and we slowly exchanged messages. It's been 2 years since I last met her in KL so many details our lives had to shared. We barely kept in touch over those years. She gave me a scarf which I carelessly lost in the student union during my first winter. I sent her a postcard from a restaurant in Napa Valley and sent her two Lizz Wright CDs for her 21st birthday in Glasgow. Both of us agreed that breaking up before I headed off to college was a sensible idea in the sense that it freed us from any commitments that could be severely strained by geographic barriers. We were literally oceans and time zones apart. Night was her day and my day was her night.
We've been texting each other so regularly these days. Not as often as we had when we were little kids in secondary school but frequent enough. We would bid each other good night just before we sleep every night these days. Sometimes she'll text me midday which I receive with much joy and happiness needed to fuel my day. We regularly reminisc our days together, reminding of things that we had to said to each other and of trips that we had taken together (i.e. Asap and Bundu Tuhan). We were pretty serious each other then.
We agree on being friends for now so I contantly try my best to be as 'friendly' as possible. Over the years, I have trained myself to supress my emotions (That's why my resignation caught my former colleagues and friends by surprise!). Part of me right now really wants to tell her how much she brightened up gloomy days at home. I would like to tell her how much I miss her too despite an impetuous 2-hour drive out of town would be a healing to my desperation. I am trying my best to conceal all these despite occasional leaks that I hope were subtle.
..
Life is absolutely unfair. I have friends from college days who have been going out and stayed together until this very day.
For example, my roommate K and E have been seeing each other since that fateful thanksgiving during Sophomore year. Someday I'll share the dramatic story on they became an item. They were lab partners in almost every class they took. Once, they experimented with not being partners where K and I paired up to work on coding projects for a algorithmns class. They discussed homework answers together. When exams were around the corner, they were next to each other in the library studying effectively. Today, K and E work in the same software company in the Bay Area. Despite being in different groups, they would meet up for lunch and drive back home together to their two-room apartment.
Unfortunately, it is not the case for D and I. I wish that time stands still for us right now and there is an Easy button like the one CircuitCity has which we can conveniently press and poof!, transports us to a parallel universe where such heartbreaking inconveniences do not exist.
Spring is here
9/4/2009
So I thought our time that weekend ended with drinks at the beach on the afternoon of Saturday 3/28. We happened to go out again that evening for drinks after her dinner with relatives. Suffice to say we had a splendid time in a secluded place near her house, holding each others' hands. It was a special evening indeed. We reignited what was lost after several years apart. I really miss the touch of her skin. The last time we held hands was when she was still in secondary school and I was still in Shah Alam.
That night changed the world to me. I guess for her as well. It's both surreal and nice to be back together. I quote the surreal but nice phrase from Notting Hill. This new chapter for us is more relaxed and fun-filled. I like the fact that she is happier now when I am around. We even started speaking Iban to each other and discovered that we connect at a much deeper level than before.
We often talked about superpowers that we wish to possess. She loves languages so for her, it will be that ability to learn every language in the world. For me, it has always been teleportation. I am tired of being away from her for so long even when we were together years ago.
I am trying my best to live the moment and refuse to think too much on what lies ahead for us. I will surrender to Him on deciding what is best for us. Pray that I will have the understanding and willingness to follow His will.
Tanjung Batu Beach
3/28/2008
I've been waiting for this day for three weeks since our dinner at Kidurong Club and drive around the housing area in Kidurong and around town. She's back in town for the weekend. This afternoon was our 4th time hanging out together. We were supposed to meet tonight but with an invitation from her aunt and uncle for dinner at their place, I suggested tea instead of dinner/supper. I insisted that she puts family first way before me, who is only a friend. So, we settled on going to the beach for chendol, sotong kangkong and her favorite limau ais.
Coincidentally, we both wore white today. It was the first thing she commented after she entered the car. I showed her a picture of us on Christmas day 6-7 years back where we both wore blue.
I like having her around. I like looking into her eyes for short moments. I like taking quick glances of her when she's looking somewhere else. I like listening to her giggles and seeing her smile.
We chatted about our secondary school, family and old friends. We exchanged questions and answers about preferences over little things in life. When she asked me if I would prefer a house by the sea to one on the mountain, I said by the sea and she too indicates the same preference. She asked if I prefer yellow light to fluorescent light, I said yellow with the utmost confidence in my answer and again, we realized we share another preference. I, being the unusually silly at times with the intention to carry on with conversations, asked if she prefers a bathtub to a shower.
I hope I can see her again tomorrow afternoon but promise myself not to cry if we could not meet.
Copyright note: The image embedded above was not taken by me and was grabbed from lifeislikethat.com through Google Image.
Not All Is Out There
3/26/2009
There is a discrepancy between what I communicate to her, through text messages and phone calls, and what I feel inside. The former being 'light' and friendly, is only the tip of the iceberg to the latter. It is a resurrection of my long suppressed affection for her.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
The Game
Let me show you what arrived on my door steps on Thursday afternoon. A book I ordered on early Wednesday morning through Amazon Prime free 2-day shipping. I found the few pages I read on Amazon were very interesting.
A black, leather-bound, bible-like book called
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Winter_20067
It's damn cold now. I am not kidding. This is the first time that I really dread going outside. This past 1 year I have experienced extreme weathers. Summer in New York was blazing hot with temperatures reaching 40C. This past week the tempature have been averaging -5 to -10 C.
Grand Family as of July 2005
Taken on my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary in Sibu in July 2005.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Winter Break
The one-month long winter break in Malaysia was a grand tour of home. In fact, I am telling my story in sub-stories of places and people I met.
Kuching
I did not return home straight. Instead, I spent 2 nights visiting my uncle in Kuching. I was very much jetlagged but was pulled into a carolling group in Kuching because my WYD mates were there. The night I joined them was focused on the poor in Kuching. 5 families in total and mostly single mums.
Bintulu
Home is home.
Longhouse
A relative died a tragic death in mini rapids in front of my father's longhouse which sits along the Rajang river. Attended the funeral after the body was found 4 days later. It was my first visit back to the Long Mejawah longhouse in 20 years and my first time witnessing a Kayan funeral. Kayan people, as I noted, bury their dead above the ground. The Maren (ruling class) used to bury them on top of the salong, a wooden pole that is usually 10 feet tall.
Sabah
My family and I put our family's new Toyata Hilux to the test by driving it to Kota Kinabalu. Christmas was spent on Manukan Island where we (except my mum) snorkelled to watch fish in the clear sea water. Also, we feasted on fresh seafood all the time. No place in Sarawak or even W. Msia can beat the seafood in Sabah. I claim I ate more prawns than in the past 1.5 years.
Grandparents in Sibu
Through the holiday, my mother pestered me to spend a night in Sibu to visit my grandparents. I dreaded the idea of taking a 3-hour bus ride down along the boring Bintulu-Sibu road so I spent a day transitting there on my way back. To my surprise and perhaps my grandparents surprise, I spent the whole day talking to my grandfather about his experiences as a civil servant. My grandfather spent most of years in the government as a clerk. He told me the story on how they moved from little towns to little towns as he was constantly transferred. My mother told us about their time in Sundar, a very rural pekan near the mouth of the Trusan river, near Limbang. My grandfamily has a particular fondest memory on this place because they were there during the fall of Limbang. My mother's story wasn't the most elaborate as she was only a little girl below 5 when the fiasco happened. I took the opportunity in Sibu to ask my grandfather on the family's experience. I can't tell everything here but I'll more than happy to tell you the story in the bar.
Basically, my grandfather organized the few civil servants stationed in Sundar to protect the little station from the pemberontak who took limbang for nearly a week. He told me how to distributed rifles to his colleagues, some who had never fired a shot before. Wives and children grouped together in the paddy warehouse or gudang padi and fortified themselves by walling the building with bags of rice. The British Royal Marines came to protect the town not long after that. They were joined by the Gurkhas. Despite without any higher education like we do, my grandfather was able to converse in limited English and acted as a translator to the British soldiers.
During the Sarawakian communist insurgency in the early 70s (kacau laban komunis), my grandfather worked for the Rajang Area Security Command (RASCOM) which was in charge in protecting the people of the communist terrorists living in the Sarawakian jungles. My grandfather's duty, in particular, was to convince the longhouse villagers to leave their longhouses and resettled to a completely near place. Among the longhouses that he dealt with was several ones in Ulu Tatau which were later resettle to Skuau, an area off Sibu.
Our conversation was interrupted when my grandma's kitchen tap broke and flooded the kitchen. We called a plumber after I realized that I cant fix it due to the broken nut. By the time we wanted to continue our day-long chat, I had to go to the airport.
KL
I visited my brother over the weekend before I flew back to the U.S. Met Daphne and Priscilla for lunch after not seeing them for quite sometime.
SINGAPORE!!
Winter Break
The one-month long winter break in Malaysia was a grand tour of home. In fact, I am telling my story in sub-stories of places and people I met.
Kuching
I did not return home straight. Instead, I spent 2 nights visiting my uncle in Kuching. I was very much jetlagged but was pulled into a carolling group in Kuching because my WYD mates were there. The night I joined them was focused on the poor in Kuching. 5 families in total and mostly single mums.
Bintulu
Home is home.
Longhouse
A relative died a tragic death in mini rapids in front of my father's longhouse which sits along the Rajang river. Attended the funeral after the body was found 4 days later. It was my first visit back to the Long Mejawah longhouse in 20 years and my first time witnessing a Kayan funeral. Kayan people, as I noted, bury their dead above the ground. The Maren (ruling class) used to bury them on top of the salong, a wooden pole that is usually 10 feet tall.
Sabah
My family and I put our family's new Toyata Hilux to the test by driving it to Kota Kinabalu. Christmas was spent on Manukan Island where we (except my mum) snorkelled to watch fish in the clear sea water. Also, we feasted on fresh seafood all the time. No place in Sarawak or even W. Msia can beat the seafood in Sabah. I claim I ate more prawns than in the past 1.5 years.
Grandparents in Sibu
Through the holiday, my mother pestered me to spend a night in Sibu to visit my grandparents. I dreaded the idea of taking a 3-hour bus ride down along the boring Bintulu-Sibu road so I spent a day transitting there on my way back. To my surprise and perhaps my grandparents surprise, I spent the whole day talking to my grandfather about his experiences as a civil servant. My grandfather spent most of years in the government as a clerk. He told me the story on how they moved from little towns to little towns as he was constantly transferred. My mother told us about their time in Sundar, a very rural pekan near the mouth of the Trusan river, near Limbang. My grandfamily has a particular fondest memory on this place because they were there during the fall of Limbang. My mother's story wasn't the most elaborate as she was only a little girl below 5 when the fiasco happened. I took the opportunity in Sibu to ask my grandfather on the family's experience. I can't tell everything here but I'll more than happy to tell you the story in the bar.
Basically, my grandfather organized the few civil servants stationed in Sundar to protect the little station from the pemberontak who took limbang for nearly a week. He told me how to distributed rifles to his colleagues, some who had never fired a shot before. Wives and children grouped together in the paddy warehouse or gudang padi and fortified themselves by walling the building with bags of rice. The British Royal Marines came to protect the town not long after that. They were joined by the Gurkhas. Despite without any higher education like we do, my grandfather was able to converse in limited English and acted as a translator to the British soldiers.
During the Sarawakian communist insurgency in the early 70s (kacau laban komunis), my grandfather worked for the Rajang Area Security Command (RASCOM) which was in charge in protecting the people of the communist terrorists living in the Sarawakian jungles. My grandfather's duty, in particular, was to convince the longhouse villagers to leave their longhouses and resettled to a completely near place. Among the longhouses that he dealt with was several ones in Ulu Tatau which were later resettle to Skuau, an area off Sibu.
Our conversation was interrupted when my grandma's kitchen tap broke and flooded the kitchen. We called a plumber after I realized that I cant fix it due to the broken nut. By the time we wanted to continue our day-long chat, I had to go to the airport.
KL
I visited my brother over the weekend before I flew back to the U.S. Met Daphne and Priscilla for lunch after not seeing them for quite sometime.
SINGAPORE!!